he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
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