Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
