I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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