I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
