doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I had to cum in my sink.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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