i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
