She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
