I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Is it because I queefed?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
