Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
