So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Enjoy the penises
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
