Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
