how hairy? two words: wookie tits
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
