can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
