shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize