Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
