I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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