I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
