I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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