I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
