What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
