we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
