that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
we're making bets on your personal life
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
