ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
