come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
