btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
