i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
