Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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