I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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