The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
