It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize