with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
