You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
