i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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