He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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