You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
