I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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