He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
