I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He passed out mid-signature
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
