so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
