I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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