I hate all girls vehemently.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Did we literally take a cab across the street
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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