Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
