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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
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