I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
