I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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