I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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