Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
