I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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