It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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