i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
