it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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