In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
