But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
